As funeral professionals, we dedicate much of our lives to helping people deal with death. ShareLife Funeral Director, Peter Rose of Betz, Rossi, Bellinger & Stewart Family Funeral Homes in New York, believes it is an interaction that requires grace and humility. “When someone dies, it’s like a train derailing,” Peter says. “You pick up the person and put them back on the tracks of life. What that means and what it looks like is different for each family, but it is a responsibility that I take seriously and humbly.”
Every Month Offers Gentle Encouragement
Each month, our grief support calendar has a message of gentle encouragement that is usually connected to the season or observance. You’ll find links to related information on our website, social media, and trusted outside sources. We will also dig in deeper to some of the topics in the coming months.
2023 Grief Calendar Themes:
January – Easy Does It
February – Love Yourself
March – Add Color & Music
April – Focus on Health
May – Honor Their Memory
June – Take a Break
July – Improve Social Wellness
August – Share Your Story
September – Spread Kindness
October – Ask for Help
November – Gratitude is Healing
December – Gather Together
Click here to download the 12-month grief calendar
January’s Message: Easy Does It
The new year will feel different for many of us. And while you may have made resolutions in the past, we encourage you to focus on just one: be gentle with yourself. You cannot overcome grief, you have to go through it.
Here are a few suggestions for treating yourself with kindness this month.
Avoid comparisons.
The way you grieve is individual and often unpredictable. Don’t compare your grief journey with anyone else’s, and certainly not by what is portrayed in movies or media. You also should avoid comparing how you feel today with other losses or trauma. We don’t become immune to death simply because we’ve experienced it already – no more than we become physically fit after a single pushup.
Take your time.
Grief does not have an expiration date. Many people find that the intensity of their grief lessens over time but rarely disappears. The idea that we can move on from one experience or loss in a predetermined time is ridiculous. Unfortunately, most of us fail to realize the complexity and depth of grief until we are in it. Be generous to yourself as you grieve.
Focus on your needs.
When the world feels like it has stopped spinning, you might not think eating or sleeping is essential. But focusing on your most basic needs is more critical than ever. Eat healthy meals and drink plenty of fresh water. Get enough sleep. Remember the importance of movement, whether it’s walking, gardening, or any other activity you enjoy.
Ask for help (and accept it).
Losing a loved one is a life-shattering event. You do not have to get through it alone, nor should you. This is the time for you to let others help. You would offer to help if the situation were reversed (and you will probably have the opportunity). It is not heroic to be stoic; instead, asking for and accepting help is a sign of a mature, strong individual.
Additional Information
Your ShareLife provider has many bereavement resources for you and your family. You can also find additional information on grief here:
National Hospice & Palliative Care Organization
Supporting someone who is grieving? Click here to read Checking on Loved Ones After a Loss.